I’m of the opinion that affairs can actually have a positive effect on a marriage, in that often affairs lead to a strengthening of the bonds of marriage. Having an affair represents both bad and good based on context. It means that someone is unhappy, sure, but at least something is being done about it. So an affair does have negative influence in that it highlight the negative sides of the marriage, and can result in the conclusion of the marriage. That usually helps one person more than the other in the long term, and yes it’s a negative outcome, but at least they are not living in an unhappy relationship anymore. Discreet sex is not always as bad as being mean to your partner all the time. On the flip side, affairs can have positive ramifications on a relationship. As long as the person who is being cheated on is ready to forgive, and as long as the person having the affair is willing to stop the affair and work on the marriage, there is a good chance that the marriage will strengthen. Do you want to end a relationship? Well discreet sex using singles websites is a great way to do it. I found a lot of single ladies on there, and it sped the process up that lead to the fixing up of my relationship.
I’m a good example of that. I cheated on my wife using an online dating service for about a year. I did it because I was unhappy – she was not listening to my concerns, and we had no long term vision or dreams together. I was lost and sad. It was a cry for help from me, in a marriage that was looking doomed. However, we worked our way out of it, and are still strong to this day.
I’m writing this to say that if you are going to have an affair, I highly recommend using an online dating service.
My affair was short, our sex was discreet, and it helped me see and feel the real value of my wife. There was a chance I was going to start dating one of my wife’s’ friends in secret. I thought long and hard about it, and realized it was just not the right thing to do. I had to find someone anonymous otherwise it would not work, and I had to keep everything I did with this person as discrete and disconnected from my normal life as possible. Sure enough, I succeeded in finding a women to date in secret, who I met at hotels here and there for a couple months. My wife has never met her, and will hopefully never know who it is. I also do not plan on ever seeing her again. I cannot stress enough how important this is, because I know that the average affair is done with someone from your social circle. That has real negative ramifications. Your friends will find out, and eventually so too will your wife. The only way to avoid this is to use online dating.
Having An Affair
What my affair did was refocus my interests and commitments back to where it mattered – my marriage. I thought I wanted to be free from all shackles, to be a single man who could wake up every morning and make everything for myself. After years of the same routine with the same person I had become complacent and bored. Having an affair was really something I had to do for myself.
Even the process of signing up for singles websites and searching for single ladies was exciting and life changing in a small way. To describe myself and try to make myself seem sexy was a real challenge, and got me thinking more about how I dress and what exciting things I would like to accomplish. The thrill of the chase brings the best out of us sometimes, and I certainly felt it in this period of unhappiness in my marriage.
What I soon realized, however, was that I really did love my wife. I just did not love myself. I realized that I had gained a lot of weight, and taken on a depressive attitude since my younger years. I had grown complacent in my marriage, and complacency produced weight gain and depression. So, if nothing else, singing up for online dating made me also sign up for a gym membership. I wanted to feel attractive again. Once I lost twenty pounds or so, I began to see my life different, and feel differently about my wife. I began to feel sexually attracted to her again. It was terribly exciting, and I am so happy it happened. So I must attribute my weight loss and new found confidence to online dating.
How To Find Single Ladies
The last positive aspect of an online affair is that they do not last long because it was with a single lady who wanted to stay that way. Usually, the married person having the affair will get a taste of it, and quickly decide if it means they should end their marriage or not. The single ladies might not want to continue seeing you if they like you too much, but that’s manageable for you. Sometimes it happens that the affair actually leads to another long-term relationship; usually it just leads to the conclusion of the marriage and the continuation of casual dating. In either event, the period of time spent in an actual online affair is much shorter than if it were to be carried out in real life.