Answer these questions to find out if you should forgive him for cheating
If your husband or boyfriend cheated on you, it may not be the end of your relationship, but you need to be honest with yourself about your own needs, and he needs to be honest with you about what happened and why it will never happen again. Failing those two things, you can be assured that your relationship is over and it cannot be salvaged.
The key to restoring a relationship after an affair is rebuilding the pillars of trust and communication that were compromised because of the infidelity. Too often one spouse decides that the other is not giving them what they need in a relationship and so they look outside of the relationship in order to fulfill it. They figure what the other spouse doesn’t know won’t hurt them so they never think of the pain and hurt they cause when they are caught. And once they’re caught, a flood of guilt and remorse soon follows. What’s worse is that realize how much they cared about their wife in the first place and how unhappy they would be if the marriage were to end. In this case, there is hope.
How did they respond when you confronted them?
This tells you everything you need to know about how they feel about you. If they responded by going on the offensive and calling you crazy or stupid, and insinuating that you’re just being paranoid, then it’s over and it should be over. If instead they took ownership of what they did and admitted to you that they cheated, you have a shot. But only if other conditions are met.
Determine their affect when discussing the affair
By affect here I mean their emotional candor, tone of voice, and so on. If they seem indifferent or flat in their affect, they may simply be to the point where your relationship is no longer important to them. In that case, it’s your cue to move on too. Not only is it likely that they will do it again, but it’s likely that you will never get what you want out of the marriage. This happens sometimes. Relationships have a lifetime, and it’s always a shame when they persist beyond the point where they make both people in them happy. If this is the case with your marriage, your best bet is to move on.
An encouraging response would be guilt ridden, ashamed, and apologetic. In this instance the party not only respects you enough to be honest, but is genuinely afraid of what the result of their infidelity might be. You mustn’t let them believe that you’re ok with their unfaithfulness unless you actually are.
If your husband cheated on you, it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault. If he tries to make it out to be your fault, there’s a problem there. If you truly do want to fix the relationship, a marriage counselor can help you reestablish the trust and communication that affairs tend to destroy.
Dealing with a cheating husband or boyfriend is not easy, but both men and women cheat sometimes for forgivable reasons. By reestablishing your communication with them, you can help feel more open about discussing their feelings with you.